Perfect

Perfect 

Edilcar Grace Dulay

          I have always been dreaming of having a perfect character, perfect social life, and even being a perfect friend. Well, of course, isn’t it nice to be admired having such? Isn’t it great being called as “perfect” friend? Everything seems perfect. Ideal! Yet somehow, what made my dream a crap is the pressure of growing-up, particularly in dealing with life’s intricacies. It was like partly impossible but my only means to avert touching the world’s ugliness therein.

          Perfect character. Out in the wilderness, I found myself pacing along a narrow horizon, gazing blankly in mind. Then all of a sudden, a huge print in the atmosphere appeared portraying the “perfect” character notion. Waves of views and perceptions came rushing in my unruffled consciousness. Having a perfect character I thought, back then is being nice to everyone—being able to help at all times, to the extent that even giving stuffs which I don’t have. Silly ironic! Simply pleasing everyone. I’ve been setting this for quite a long time only to find out, that it’s so critical. Along the way, someone approached me, tapped my shoulder from behind and slowly whispered, “My friend, it may be easy to be kind, but be careful, it may not always bring the same thing back to you…” I looked towards the voice, but he immediately vanished. I began to cogitate. Then I still continue to walk along the path. I saw my reflection, spoke to me, “Don’t be too like that. You are standing in front of an open, abundant, paradise-like place when in behind is an abyss--one step backward and you don’t know what awaits when you fall. Sound absurd, I thought as I grinned.

          What I witnessed next had brought an intense feeling gradually rushing into my nerves. I was dumbfounded. The narrowed path became wider and I saw scenario what I had done in the past, pleasing everyone, modest and less-critical. That space is very wide, and I left standing at the center. I saw hundreds of me but the awful thing is the thousands of bloodcurdling shadows around—secretly beating and stabbing me to death. Sounds odd but that is life.

          Setting a perfect character is not always a one-way trip. It is never concealing in a “safe” place when you think can be an untouchable refuge. It comes in various meaningful sect and it’s up to you where you think could lead to the perfect track. That is, perfect character depends from person-to-person.  That is appreciating real-life instances, weighing them and seeking for self-improvement. It is not just being plainly “kind”. Part of it is getting prepared to harsh voices from behind, that even you extend a helping hand; they still have some unfavorable things to say. So cynical!

          Establishing a perfect character starts from optimism, preparing self for constructive criticism armored with balanced, firm decisions but with a sensible heart. This thing which had registered in my mind conveys one thing: What may be perfect for you is not necessarily perfect for others. And as I move forward in this journey, I know and I should avoid entering that doomed rat-race over and over again especially in dealing with the wide, uncertain life’s arena.

          Positive! Well, I would still dare to believe that it’s not too late to build up another “perfect start”, this time getting more ready for not very “perfect” feedback.